I thought I’d do myself a favour and do an extra maths subject over the summer semester to lessen my final year load and to bolster a crippled teaching area. Boy, do I regret it.
Every time I sit down at my coursework I end up frustrated and in tears. I don’t understand maths and the idea of teaching these concepts fills me with dread. How can I do it when I don’t know them myself? That’s why I took the maths course.
I am 6 subjects away from graduating. I can’t drop the course because then I have a “fail” on my transcript. The assessment I’m fairly confident about - some maths challenges and an exam. Nothing I can’t handle! However completing all the little quizzes that accompany my coursework is driving me insane. I get 90% but mastery is awarded at 100%. The second assignment into have mastered all the coursework. It is a massive time suck.
If there was ever a time in my life when I doubted that I could be a teacher, it’s right now. I feel dumb and stupid for thinking I was going to come out of this course with some improvement. Right now I feel like a huge failure. I am embarrassed this is so hard for me and that I’ve allowed it to affect me so.